GEM OF ZEN #39

10 THINGS THAT MAY HELP YOU DURING HARD TIMES

Life has thrown many curveballs at me in the last 12 months. I’m not going to lie – it’s been tough! However, I believe that everything we experience in life is an opportunity to learn and grow and these last 12 months have been no different. It’s made me very aware that I have been very lucky through my life. I’ve had a very long run with very few curveballs. Life has mostly gone along pretty swimmingly well for me and I’m so grateful for that. I’m also very aware that many others have much tougher curveballs thrown at them than me.

Lately, ever since Dad passed really, but more specifically in the last 12 months, there’s been one thing after another and that has made it very difficult at times to keep my head above water and to find the joys in life. Being a HSP and Empath has made this harder for me. I say that not as a “woe is me” but because knowledge is power and knowing this about myself helps me know better how to help myself. I can absorb the pain, sorrow and stresses of others and I’m now investigating ways to protect myself from this happening while still being the empathetic and caring person that I like to be. I saw this quote (below) posted recently which really resonated with me and actually inspired this post.

One thing about me that has improved over the years and which has come from all the research and writing I do here on the blog, and with the wisdom age brings with it, is that I listen much more to my body and I observe my mind now. I look within so that I can truly understand myself and what I need. I do what I need to do to find my calm, my peace, my safe place where I can recharge and restore. I reset to that place when I need to. With this self care practice, thankfully my light has not been consumed. We all need to find the tools that work for us to help us during challenging times and to care for ourselves every day.

Of course, everyone is different and everyone’s circumstances and curveballs are different. However, the principles of looking within and taking time to understand yourself and apply the self care you need still applies to us all regardless. Note that if the curveball thrown at you is a close personal grief, please understand that this grief may also overlap with trauma and you need to be so kind to yourself. It’s going to be a process and you will need to go with the flow and do what you can to nurture yourself through it. There’s no timeframe, no right way. Everyone just finds their own way. Please do reach out to others when you need to and seek professional help if you’re not coping.

I thought I’d share 10 of the things that have helped me through hard times. I hope some or all of them might be helpful to you.

1. Save your energy for what is important

My energy is valuable (like currency) and important to me so I no longer waste it on things that don’t serve me or are not all that important to me. No time for people pleasing! 

2. Try and get some regular time outdoors in nature

I don’t know about you but nature always restores and uplifts me. My favourite quote which I’ve shared many times on the blog is one by John Burroughs – “I go to nature to be soothed and healed and to have my senses put in order”. It doesn’t have to be a major expedition to go hiking in the mountains for example. It could be as simple as going outside and lying by my pool or going for local walk. I’m fortunate to live near water and love to go for a walk along the esplanade or even just sit on a seat and look out over the water, taking in the sounds of the lapping water, the birds sounds, the trees swaying in the breeze, etc. I do love a day trip or a couple of days away somewhere in nature too – so now and then I try to organise a trip to the mountains, the beach, or a walk in a rainforest!

3. Keep your body moving

I’m not a sporty person. I can’t run. I haven’t even been able to walk much lately because of a broken foot, but I have made Yoga and Pilates a part of my daily routine and it has been life changing for me. I roll out my mat every morning. I do MerryBody with the MerryMaker sisters. It’s yoga. It’s pilates. And it’s sometimes a fusion of the two – all on an App on my phone. I can take it with me wherever I go which has been very handy lately when I’ve been spending a lot of days over at Mum’s. (not sponsored – just love)

4. Keep check on your perspective

It’s easy to look ahead and see endless days of more of the same challenges and you can easily catastrophise. Breathe! One day at a time and remember, nothing ever stays the same. Instead, focus on the things you can control about your situation that helps you to manage and feel better (like some of things I’ve listed above & below). Remember to reach out to friends and loved ones for support when needed.

5. Plan something to look forward to

It’s always nice to have something on the horizon to look forward to. I recently had five nights away at Mount Tamborine which was wonderfully restorative and lovely to look forward to. More recently I had a lovely day out where I met up with a friend for lunch and then we saw the Mary Poppins musical. It’s well known that I love musicals and this one was fabulously uplifting! The Tennis Player and I are planning a trip to New Zealand next year so that will be something exciting to look forward to. Meanwhile I need to plan some more day trips and maybe a few nights away before then.

6. Listen to your body

If I’m under too much stress, my body lets me know. Aches and pains increase. I get overwhelmed. My anxiety increases. I can’t think straight. I can start feeling down. I get run down. I feel like I’m coming down with something. I get tired and lethargic. I can even get a low grade temperature. When this happens I know I need to rest. Time out time! If I don’t rest, I will end up getting very sick. If I do rest, I am usually soon restored. Listen to ‘your’ body and do what you need to do to keep it well.

7. Be mindful of your thoughts

Negative thinking can lead you to dark places and affect not only your mental health but your physical health too. I try and catch myself if I’m thinking negatively and do something to snap me out of it. It could be meeting up with a friend for coffee or lunch, maybe doing some art or going for a walk outside. My yoga and pilates every morning certainly helps. Sometimes it can be as simple as walking outside in bare feet and feeling the grass beneath my feet. Another thing I like to do is lie on the grass and look up at the clouds and birds and trees. Sometimes achieving something around the house is enough to help! 

8. Rest your mind

Sometimes when I have too much going on, too much to think about or worry about or to do, I can become overwhelmed. When I become overwhelmed my mind goes into a spin and I can achieve nothing. Anxiety can creep in and panic too sometimes if I’m not managing the load and need to. The only thing to do is to give my mind a rest. I do this by:

• trying some meditation. I like guided meditations. 
• roll out my mat and do some yoga – ‘yin yoga‘ is a favourite for when I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed
• sometimes I just give myself some ‘veg out time’ watching something light on Netflix (nothing heavy)
• time out from social media and devices
• nature helps calm my mind so I might try some of the suggestions under No. 2 above (plus in summer I like to float and swim in my pool)
• make sure I’m drinking enough water (helps reduce headaches and supports clearer thinking)

9. Tidy up and declutter

Messy and cluttered surroundings make my mind feel the same way. Sometimes a day of pottering around tidying and decluttering can feel very satisfying and helps clear my mind which in turn helps me to feel more in control and … better.

10. Eat healthy and nutritious foods

I’m not at all suggesting you diet – just to be mindful of what foods you put into your mouth as what you eat (and how much you eat) can have a direct affect on your health and wellbeing. Think of food as fuel and choose fuel that will be of benefit to you and not have the opposite effect. Try and eat a healthy, balanced, nutritional diet. There’s so many delicious foods that are healthy and nutritious so it’s not too hard. None of us are perfect though so don’t be hard on yourself. Having the right intention and doing the best you can most of the time is a good start.

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There’s more I could add to the list above, but those would be my top 10. What would you add to the list?

I really do hope you’re not experiencing hard times right now but if or when you do, I hope that the 10 things I’ve listed might help you and someone else who reads this.

Ciao for now,

Linking up with Denyse Whelan’s ‘Wednesday’s Words and Pics‘