14 ways to help rebuild self-confidence

July 14, 2015
self-confidence, self confidence, confidence, confident

self-confidence, self confidence, confidence, confident

As someone who has experienced a loss of self-confidence, I’ve learned a few things about how to go about rebuilding it.

It’s a real blow when you’ve been a reasonably confident person or even a very confident person and something happens that sends your confidence plummeting and the world as you knew it into a tailspin.

A lack of self-confidence is closely related to low self-esteem. In fact, I think the two go hand in hand. The consequences of being in this kind of head space can be so damaging: negative thought patterns, fears and anxieties, and even depression. This is not a head space in which you’d want to linger for long.  You’ve been confident before and you can be confident again.  It just takes a little bit of self-investment, planning and actioning.

Below, is an anagram I’ve put together of 14 ways to start rebuilding your self-confidence.

self confidence anagram
Over weeks to come I will elaborate a little more on each of the 14 points listed above.  In the meantime, you might be interested in reading some posts I’ve already written on the following topics: self-care, self compassion, gratitude & generosity, and move that body!

How self-confident are you on the scale of 1-5 below?  Ever had a dip in self-confidence and had to rebuild?
1 = very low self-confidence, 2 = low self-confidence 3 = average level of self-confidence, 4 = above average level of self-confidence, and 5 = super duper self-confident!

Ciao for now,

Min-Signature

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

and With Some Grace for #FYBF

 

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42 Comments

  • Reply Raychael aka Mystery Case July 14, 2015 at 9:26 am

    Great post. I’m normally fairly over confident, especially when I’m just focusing on my own thing but this business diploma I’ve just commenced has me looking and researching successful business women and I’m feeling over inspired and lacking confidence at the moment.

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 9:45 pm

      Oh how I’d love to be over confident Raychael! I hope you’re loving your studies so far. I’m sure it’s just a brief dip in your confidence you’re feeling right now – just a consequence of feeling overwhelmed. You’ve got this! 😉

  • Reply Deborah July 14, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    Oh yes… Very much so. I’ve struggled with confidence all of my life and have been through a few things over the years which have taken their toll or destroyed my confidence completely. The last few years has been no different. The government work place I left when I took my redundancy (not the place who offered it as I was on secondment elsewhere) begged me to stay. I’d had some good experiences in government and was occasionally surprised that people valued me and my work. As you know, compliments / kudos in government is rare but I’d felt rewarded with some great opportunities. (And I’d worked hard!)

    So to find myself practically begging to get any old low-level job post-seachange has been a bit of a shock. The stuff that people valued before (my experience, qualifications, abilities) haven’t even been of any interest. To anyone! I know some of that is a regional thing… there are very few jobs. I’ve probably seen 2 jobs of a similar ‘level’ to my old one in my almost three years here. But still…

    Plus I struggle on the writing front. So many others get huge blog stats and lots of opportunities and I don’t. I know some of it is content related but worry that my writing is far worse than I like to think!

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 9:53 pm

      Deb – you are an excellent writer – a far better writer than I am that’s for sure! You really, really have a flair with your book reviews. The way you write them leaves me in awe. You structure the posts perfectly and you describe the storyline and how the book made you feel so intelligently and confidently! Don’t ever doubt your writing abilities! I totally get the whole feeling inadequate in the blogosphere thing though. It’s tough – we’re but a speck in a very big ocean and I think I will probably feel even more that way after I attend PB in August (but I’ve gotta go at least once!). I think there are some ‘niches’ that are just more popular and their are certain personality types that are more popular. As for confidence, well you know my story. I’m still rebuilding – bit by bit. I’ve learnt a few things so I thought I may as well share them. I hope you get a job you enjoy soon. Who cares if it’s not as flashy as your previous roles. I’m actually considering applying for part-time work at our local Bunnings. I can see me pottering around watering plants in the nursery area haha – just hope you don’t have to be a Horticulturist or something! 😉

  • Reply Denyse July 14, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    This is timely as I am doing a 30 day meditation from Headspace on self-esteem (brilliant by the way) along with the course that’s offered by Lee Alexander at Brightside Coaching called ‘flourish.’ I am the least kind to me and the most kind to others..what IS that? Learning to self-talk more kindly is my start and I know I am feeling less anxious and more at ease already. Maybe what I am learning is finally kicking in. This post is the start of something good I see Min! Thanks, Denyse x

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 9:59 pm

      Ahhh Denyse – I can be very unkind to myself too. Yep – what IS that? I think it is especially a problem with women. We can be VERY hard on ourselves and often expect far too much of ourselves. I’m getting better at stopping the negative inner voice these days. I tell that nasty inner voice to take a hike (that’s putting it nicely – I actually say SHUT UP AND GO AWAY). The 30 day meditation and course that you’re doing sound fabulous. I’ll have to Google them and have a read. I find all this sort of stuff very interesting. Next time your nasty inner voice surfaces you tell it to take a hike or SHUT UP & GO AWAY and then fill your mind with all the gorgeous qualities you have and the kindness you’ve shown to others over the years. Then remind yourself that YOU also deserve that same kindness. xo

  • Reply EssentiallyJess July 14, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    I used to be a lot more confident than I am now. I’m confident in certain areas, but not others. It’s something I’m constantly working on.

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 10:04 pm

      I would never think of you as not being confident Jess. You always come across as super confident. We all have our little struggles though don’t we – some well hidden – some out there for all to see!

  • Reply Beck @craftypjmum July 14, 2015 at 8:09 pm

    I can totally relate to this Min, I look forward to reading your next few posts. xx

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 10:05 pm

      I hope you find something helpful in the series of posts Beck! xo

  • Reply PatrickC July 14, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Min,

    You are so right, all you need is one incident and you get knocked over. I so so get it because that is my story. Events over the past few years have shaken my confidence down to zero and I am slowly climbing back so I am very interested in reading your thoughts on self confidence over the next bit of time.

    Ciao,

    Patrick

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 10:14 pm

      It took only one incident to knock my self-confidence down to zero too Patrick. Yes, I’ve been there. My confidence is getting stronger again. Like with you, it’s climbing back up there, slowly – very slowly! It’s not at the level it was once at – but it’s way better than the zero it had gone to. I figure that if I’ve had this happen to me than so would others and I should share what I’ve learned. I hope that there is something in what I write that will help even just one person a little bit. It’s not nice to lose your self-confidence. It can be so debilitating!

      • Reply PatrickC July 14, 2015 at 10:23 pm

        You help so many with your photos and your writing and your gutsy sharing. You have much to be proud of.

        • Reply Min July 15, 2015 at 8:53 am

          You say such kind things Patrick. I don’t know that I help many but I hope that I help at least one or some! Many thanks! 🙂

  • Reply Renee Wilson July 14, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Min, I love this post and would love to read more on it. I have battled with self-confidence most of my life apart from a period in my early to mid twenties. My self confidence at the moment would be below average I’d say. It’s really hard to build it back up when it’s gone. I don’t think there’s any easy answer. It’s constant hard work. Looking forward to reading more x #teamIBOT

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 10:18 pm

      Thanks so much Renee. I never would have guessed you have battled with self-confidence. It is hard to build self-confidence back up when it’s gone but there are some things that can help. It is constant work – that’s true – but I have some fun tips too that feel less like work but do amazing things to help us! I really hope that from the series of posts I write you find something, even just one thing, that you can take away and that will be of help to you. xo

  • Reply Hugzilla July 14, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    Clearing the schedule is so important, yet it seems pretty under-rated. Everyone thinks they need to be busy or whatever, but it just adds to the overwhelm. Pulling back from things is the first thing I do if I’m ever feeling the pinch. It really does help tremendously.

    • Reply Min July 14, 2015 at 10:21 pm

      Yes! This was the first thing that had to happen for me in the process of healing and starting the process to rebuild my confidence. I needed to start from scratch, clear the decks, fill myself up slowly – bit by bit – with things that filled my tank in a good way and on my terms! 😉

  • Reply Zita July 15, 2015 at 12:56 am

    I love that little picture/anagram thingy you have made up. So so true and something I need a whole lotta help practicing so am looking forward to your next series of posts!

    • Reply Min July 15, 2015 at 8:54 am

      Thank you Zita! I hope you find something that is helpful to you! xo

  • Reply Kathy July 15, 2015 at 8:54 am

    I’ve varied in my confidence throughout my life and I certainly have had a mid-life crisis in confidence lately. Intellectually I feel I should be confident based on my skills and experience, but emotionally it is quite another story and confidence is an emotional thing.

    • Reply Min July 15, 2015 at 8:59 am

      I wonder what it is about the mid-life crisis thing. Does the change in our hormones contribute I wonder? You have much to be confident about Kathy. Look at all you have achieved!! You’re right though – confidence is an emotional thing!

  • Reply Nicole @ The Builders Wife July 16, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Something very close to my heart, similar to you, I went from being extremely confident to having a very low level of self confidence, after years of adult bullying. I am working each day on getting my confidence back, but goodness what courage it takes. This post and your anagram is very timely, thank you xx

    • Reply Min July 16, 2015 at 12:47 pm

      Oh Nicole, I’m so sorry to hear about your years of adult bullying. Why are some people so cruel? The world would be such a better place if we could just be kind to each other and have each others backs. I hope my series contains something that will strike a chord for you! Hope you’re going to PB in August? I really would love to meet you! 🙂 xo

  • Reply Haidee@Maybe Baby Brothers July 17, 2015 at 8:29 am

    Great post. My self confidence is about a 3 these days but it dropped to a one when my mum died 12 years ago. It’s funny how life events can really hinder you and have you develop fears that never existed before. I’m slowly working at building it back up.

    • Reply Min July 17, 2015 at 10:04 pm

      Oh Haidee, I’m so sorry you lost your Mum 12 years ago! You must have been so young and most likely she was too. This most definitely would have had a huge impact you in all manner of ways. Good on you for your obvious strength and determination to slowly but surely build your confidence back up again…and it is a slow process for anyone in the same boat. xo

  • Reply Julie @ Off to the park July 17, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Thanks for this timely post. My self confidence & self esteem (I also think they go hand in hand) is probably a 2, all depends on the situation I am in. As a full-time SAHM I often doubt my decisions or ability to do certain things. At the moment I am considering returning to work which is daunting! Popping by via FYBF. 🙂

    • Reply Min July 17, 2015 at 10:10 pm

      I can relate Julie! I was a SAHM until my youngest started school (apart from some work from home and a couple of other attempts as some casual work). It is a bit scary returning to the work force but for me, when I did – though it was hard work getting everyone organised, delivered to where they needed to be and myself to work etc – it had a positive impact on me in many ways: adult conversation and interaction; learning new stuff; getting up to date again with technology, job satisfaction, a life outside the home, my own identity returned (no longer just mum). I hope you find the same 🙂 xo

  • Reply Malinda @mybrownpaperpackages July 19, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    Mine usually wanes in and out, this is great advice and I look forward to reading your future posts on it.

    • Reply Min July 20, 2015 at 2:12 pm

      I’ve done a bit of the waning in and out thing too Malinda! Many thanks! 🙂

  • Reply Joanne Tracey May 13, 2019 at 8:00 am

    To be honest, I’m rarely over a 3, but fake a 4 or a 5. Have a great week.

    • Reply Min May 13, 2019 at 5:47 pm

      I’d rarely be over a 3 either Jo. Fake it till you make it is my motto! You have a great week too. xo

  • Reply Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond May 13, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    Hi Min, I’m like Jo, about a 3 and the rest of the time it is putting on a smiling face and telling myself that yes I’ve got this. Loved your 14 ways to build self confidence image. It is definitely one to print off and have nearby as a reminder. Have a great week! #lifethisweek

    • Reply Min May 13, 2019 at 5:50 pm

      I’d say I rarely get over a 3, could sometimes be a 2, have often felt like a 4, and if in regards to something I know well – may have experienced a 5 but mostly I’d sit around 3. Even the most apparently level 4 or 5 confident people are often 3’s in disguise 😉 You have a great week too Sue. xo

  • Reply Sydney Shop Girl May 13, 2019 at 7:39 pm

    Great post, Min! Self-confidence is something I overlook as I go about doing my day to day stuff. I only become aware of it when it’s gone or fading. Loving the practical check list of things to do to get back on track.

    SSG xxx

    • Reply Min May 14, 2019 at 2:17 pm

      Thanks SSG – yes it’s quite true that you really only notice your self-confidence when it’s gone/fading/lagging – same for me! 🙂

  • Reply Debbie Harris May 13, 2019 at 9:07 pm

    Hi Min, this was very interesting. I’d probably rate myself as a 3 and try hard to convince myself I can do everything I want to try! I’ve pinned your list as it’s spot on! #lifethisweek

    • Reply Min May 14, 2019 at 2:19 pm

      Thanks Deb – I’m much the same as you and would rate myself a 3 but sometimes in certain circumstances could dip to a 2 but in other circumstances could rise to a 4! It’s a funny thing isn’t it?! 🙂

  • Reply Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid May 14, 2019 at 7:27 am

    That anagram is great – you’re so clever! I’m
    a lot more confident than I used to be and that’s because I’ve been doing some of the things on your list!

    • Reply Min May 14, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      Thanks Sammie! You’re the clever one if you’re already doing things on the list and feeling fabulously confident! Go you! 🙂 xo

  • Reply Denyse Whelan May 15, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    I had to see what I wrote 4 years ago. I sure was trying my best but it was hard to feel what I missed (self confidence and so on) because of those life transitions I found so very hard then.

    It is good to feel much better within myself now even if I continue to waiver at times.

    I like the ‘old posts’ resurfacing because I get a window into me if I have commented then!!

    Thanks for sharing on #lifethisweek and next week’s optional prompt is 20/51 Share Your Snaps #4 20/5/19 so do join in! Denyse

    • Reply Min May 15, 2019 at 6:00 pm

      I find it interesting to look back at older posts too Denyse. Look at the link-ups this post was shared to – all gone now! Many of the bloggers who commented I rarely see anymore. Some still blog. Some don’t. I’m still here chugging along! LOL xo

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