Coffee catchup: Ageing Fears, Christmas and more!

December 5, 2019
Pouring coffee for coffee catch up

Ageing Fears - friends chat over coffee

I felt like a casual chat and catch up with you all today. The Gorgeous 50’s series is nearly finished and I’m keen to get it all wrapped up and completed because it’s been going for a long time now (it kicked off in July 2017), but it can wait.

How would you like your coffee?  Milk?  Sugar?  Would you prefer a tea?  No problem!  Take a seat out there on the deck overlooking all the beautiful trees and wildlife (oh gosh I have an imagination don’t I?! lol) and I’ll bring it to you. 

Ok here’s your cuppa and help yourself to the food. Let’s say there’s some sweet and savoury to choose from – a cheese platter with crackers and dip and some scones with jam and cream, and some fruit for those goody two shoes of us! 

Let’s chat!

Ageing Fears

When we reach those midlife years of 50+ there’s quite a lot of change happening for us, on all fronts – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and there are some little fears that creep in that no-one really talks about.  We put on a brave face, but underneath all that there are a lot of things going on – some changes: new freedoms, hormonal changes, a need to adapt and reevaluate, some ageing fears.  I recently wrote an article on Ageing Fears for Bupa. If you haven’t read it already, I’d love for you to pop on over for a read.  You can get there by clicking on this link:  AGEING FEARS.


Hasn’t Christmas come around quickly?  Thankfully I have made a good dent in my Christmas shopping and am feeling pretty on top of it all now.  Still a few prezzies to get sorted and I still need to get the Christmas tree up and some Christmas decorations around.  I would have done that this past weekend but I had a busy weekend with lots of parties!  How about you?  Feeling organised and ready for the festive season?


On Monday 2 December it was 2 years since my Dad passed away. I can’t believe it’s been that long already.  Two years down the track and the pain is still there.  I know now that it will never go.  It’s not an all consuming day in and day out pain as it were.  Life has to go on, but it can still hit me at any moment and it’s just as intense if not more-so, and I still cry often.  I seem to miss him more and more as time goes by.  I’m so grateful I had him as my Dad.  He was a wonderful person and father and I was so fortunate to have him here on earth with me for 53 years of my life.  On Monday I went over to visit Mum and we went out to the cemetery to visit him.  I clean his grave when I visit.  Yep, I take the ‘ol Spray & Wipe and Chux out there and wipe over that beautiful stone until it is shining and clean and not a drop of dirt or dust in sight.  I don’t care if I look like a weirdo.  It makes me feel good knowing that his grave looks clean and smart and well cared for.  We all do what we need to do to deal with our grief, don’t we?


Did you read my post about my plan to do some fostering for the RSPCA?  On this day in one week’s time I will be attending the Fostering Baby Kittens workshop at the RSPCA – the final hoop I will need to jump through before I am able to begin fostering neonatal kittens.  I am eligible right now to foster kittens aged 6 wks+ and also puppies of similar age but I’m waiting to do the aforementioned workshop so I can help them with a big need for the fostering of the orphaned neonatal kittens.  My house inspection was done last week and passed successfully.  I did the required Basic Fostering Workshop weeks ago.  I am trying very hard to be patient. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap tap, tap tap. Trying!!  After I’ve completed the required training I’m not sure how long it will be until I have my first fostering experience.  To keep in the know, keep watch on the blog and check ‘The Foster Files‘ which is available from my menu bar at the top of the blog.  Stalking me on Instagram might also be a good idea! 

Skin Check

A couple of weeks ago I went for a long overdue skin check.  All was pretty good but one dark freckle on my wrist and a strange small red itchy sore that won’t heal on my chest are both being scraped/biopsied on Saturday.  I’ve never had anything like this done before so I’m a bit anxious about it I’ve got to admit.  Fingers crossed all will be ok.  Have you had your skin checked lately?  With summer upon us – don’t forget to ‘Slip, Slop & Slap‘!


Anyone who follows me here would know I’ve recently had a rather long period of being sick with Pneumonia, including 5 nights in hospital on IV antibiotics.  Every time I finished a course of antibiotics, within days the pneumonia came back.  All up, most of my October and November were taken up with being sick.  I was laid pretty low for that time – didn’t go out much, couldn’t exercise, missed a musical and some other events.  It cost me a fortune in drugs, tests, a hospital stay, and various medical appointments.  I am pleased to say though that FINALLY I am feeling quite well again and able to resume life as normal.  It’s not been pleasant but I am well again now and I’m well aware that there are many people who do not have that luxury.

So enough about me.  Tell me your news!  Are you all sorted for Christmas?  Got a lovely holiday planned?  Go on, make me jealous. I have no holiday plans at all this year but hopefully will organise something for maybe late March when the worst of the heat has passed (hopefully) – probably a relaxing beach holiday.

Ciao for now,

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  • Reply Lydia C. Lee December 5, 2019 at 6:59 am

    The caring for the grave is a very common European and Hawaiian (and I imagine in many other places) tradition. So not weird, totally normal. As for the grief, it’s never easy and time is irrelevant in grief. Those anniversaries are hard but you carry so much of the person with you and there’s comfort in that. They shaped you, all the way down to mannerisms, so they are always there in small unexpected ways. Loss is painful but you can celebrate those memories too, as it’s that joy and shared moments are what you are missing, and it’s worth focusing on those feelings you had at the time when you were together. For me it’s made those waves of remembering a nice experience that brings me comfort, rather than so painful a feeling of loss. A life well lived will leave a big hole but it also lingers quite tangibly for those that loved them, and that presence is still guiding you as before. We are all so fragile in grief. I think working on the grave is a lovely thing to do if it makes you feel closer.

    • Reply Min December 5, 2019 at 5:07 pm

      Thank you Lydia – I don’t feel like such a weirdo now. That’s interesting to know (about caring for the grave being common in Europe & Hawaii & other places etc). What you’ve said about grief is so very true too. I carry so much of Dad in me and I feel him with me all the time. I do have many of his attributes too – including mannerisms and personality traits. I will try to focus more on these things when the pain of missing him is bad. Thank you! xo

  • Reply Denyse Whelan December 5, 2019 at 8:07 am

    Wow Min, that is a big catch up here. I am thinking of you as you continue to return to good health yourself. Those months sure were not much fun at all but good medicine, taking time and your recovery is done. You have some fun things to look forward to and that is always a good thing. Your Dad’s anniversary…and how you and Mum spent it together is special. I have had biopsies inside my mouth but yours are outside and they usually give you a numbing needle first. From what I remember of the many skin ones (outside) like yours is that you can’t get them wet while there are stitches. Best wishes …and hope you can turn the worry down as you wait on the results. You have kittens to foster!

    • Reply Min December 5, 2019 at 5:08 pm

      Thank you Denyse and thank you for checking in on me and being a lovely friend when I was sick for all that time. I feel like such a wuss being anxious about a couple of skin biopsies when there are people like yourself that face much scarier scenarios. xo

  • Reply Anne Downing December 5, 2019 at 9:00 am

    Glad you are organised for Christmas, I am halfway there! We are going away and trying to pick small present for the kids to take on the plane is harder than I thought!

    • Reply Min December 5, 2019 at 5:09 pm

      Going away for Christmas with kids would require a lot of planning and being organised. Good luck to you!

  • Reply Joanne Tracey December 5, 2019 at 10:32 am

    So glad you’re feeling better – it’s been a tough few months for you and I know that this time of the year is difficult as well with your Dad’s anniversary. I’m very much looking forward to your kitteny spam.

    • Reply Min December 5, 2019 at 5:11 pm

      Thanks Jo. It’s been an unexpected way to spend the last couple of months that’s for sure, and yes this time of year is tough. Dad’s birthday on 1 November, Mum and Dad’s wedding anniversary on 1 December, the anniversary of his passing on 2 December and then another Christmas without him. We try and keep strong and positive though. I hope there is some kitteny spam soon. I will be sad if they have none for me! xo

  • Reply Leanne | December 5, 2019 at 10:50 am

    Loved catching up Min – nothing like a coffee and chat (even a virtual one). Looking forward to seeing you with your kitten foster babies when the time comes. And don’t worry about the skin stuff – I’ve had tons chopped off (fair and spotty – that’s me!) and nothing has come of it (except a few scars). Enjoy the lead up to Christmas – and thanks for the cuppa xx

    • Reply Min December 5, 2019 at 5:13 pm

      I hope they have some kitten foster babies for me Leanne. There are a lot of foster carers. Time will tell! Thanks for the reassurance about the skin stuff! I’m glad you enjoyed the cuppa and catch up! xo

  • Reply suzanne December 5, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    Hi Min, nice chatting this morning. I’m having my coffee weak and black, as always. Sitting her thinking of all I need to do to get the house ready for Christmas. Yesterday was a recovery day, since we just returned from our Destination Thanksgiving. We will choose a tree this afternoon and get it set up; decorations tomorrow. I’m hosting my Mahjongg group for lunch next week,we will be making dinner for friends sometime this month, and of course we will host Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for the family. Not much to do on the presents front – we aren’t exchanging gifts this year. All of that happens in between Tennis, Mahjongg, Book Club and a few parties with friends. The calendar is full and I am happy.

    I lost my Dad when I was 29. He was just 52. His birthday was Jan 7 and I still feel a bit melancholy this time of year. Skin checks are a regular thing for us in Florida. Glad you are paying attention. Your November sucked for sure, glad you have recovered and are moving into December with renewed energy. Thanks for listening to my thoughts this morning and have a wonderful day.

    • Reply Min December 6, 2019 at 3:27 pm

      Hi Suzanne – funny but I remember that you have your coffee weak and black as we’ve discussed that before I think! lol I was going to put the tree up and decorations around today but unfortunately the big, heavy boxes that contain it all are up too high for me. I’d manage if light but not with heavy. So I have to wait till the troops get home and can help get them down for me. I hope your Mahjongg Christmas lunch goes off well. I’m heading out to my Reformer Pilates Christmas party tonight. I’m so sorry to hear you lost your Da so young. That would’ve been so hard for you and your family. Hope you have a great weekend! xo

  • Reply Sanch @ Sanch Writes December 7, 2019 at 12:03 pm

    It was really good to read your catch up post. Grieving happens in different ways for different people – I don’t think there’s any right or wrong. Anniversaries would be especially hard. That’s pretty awesome about fostering kittens – I’m totally going to be stalking your Insta feed! Good luck with the skin checks – the waiting is the worst. It reminds me that I probably should get mine checked sooner rather than later. I’m glad your health is improving overall though. Hope the rest of this month goes well for you. Take care x

    • Reply Min December 13, 2019 at 8:57 am

      Thanks Sanch. I got the all clear from the skin biopsy – not skin cancer which is a relief! I am looking forward to my first foster kittens. Bring it on! 🙂 xo

  • Reply Debbie Harris December 24, 2019 at 6:58 am

    Hi Min, I missed this post! I am so glad you are feeling better now. It is also coming up to 2 years since I lost my father and I understand your pain and your feelings of grief, it never goes away does it? I hope you and your mum are coping OK and I like your way of cleaning up 🙂 . Take care and enjoy your kittens!! xx

    • Reply Min January 14, 2020 at 9:40 pm

      Hi Deb, I know that you lost your Dad soon after I lost mine. The pain and grief continues so I’m starting to understand that it will be a lifetime thing but with time … a less raw pain hopefully. All my thoughts and hugs to you because I know how much you would miss your Dad. Mum misses Dad dreadfully and that breaks my heart. Cleaning, funnily enough, seems to be a way I deal with the hard things in life. I think it gives me a sense of control and order in otherwise chaotic circumstances. xoxo

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