It’s been a lot

November 22, 2023
stressed and worried

stressed and worried

Hello everyone,

It’s been a lot around here lately. Sadly, I don’t have the energy to put much effort into a blog post this week but wanted to quickly throw something together so that #WWWhimsy could go ahead as usual and also to update you all on why I’m a bit absent and slow to respond lately.

It’s been (and still is) a very stressful, worrying, emotional and exhausting time. I know stress is so bad for us too but in this case I can’t avoid it. I’m trying my best to calm myself with yoga and meditations & I’ve just ordered myself some more Magnesium in the Black Friday sales!  I get this one by the way – tastes good and does a great job (not sponsored).

Some of you may already know the basics of what’s been going on, particularly if you saw my post on both Instagram & Facebook (see below) and if you follow my Instagram stories, but for those unaware, it’s best to start by reading this 16 November Facebook post below.

 

Since then, we’ve been at the hospital every day, until Mum acquired COVID whilst in the hospital. We watched her get sicker and sicker and I recognised the symptoms. We hadn’t seen her doctor in days to get any kind of update and the nurses couldn’t tell us much. Finally we kicked up a fuss and said we wanted contact from him. When he phoned I said I wanted her tested for COVID and other respiratory viruses currently circulating. He dismissed me, cut me off, told me he’d do it but she won’t have any of those things, and that I should brace myself for the fact that this might be the beginning of the end. He said this about three times. It’s been very distressing because though I know we won’t have a long time left with Mum, I knew that this was not the beginning of the end. I knew it was either Covid or some other respiratory virus.

PPE

All decked out in PPE. Eyes squinted because mask too close to eyes and the glasses/goggles fogging up. Not the most comfortable but worth it to see Mum!

Guess what, the COVID test came back positive. She’s been moved to a respiratory ward and put on antivirals, and we were told we’re not allowed to visit her. What gives me comfort is the fact that we were vigilant with her Covid boosters. She’s up to date having had her 6th shot on 24 October 2023.  Meanwhile my sister contracted Covid from Mum and is now isolated at home. I have remained Covid negative. I think this is because I had a booster in mid October and also had Covid in mid October so my immunity to it is very high at present. Here’s a link to a post that explains that!

The doctor phoned me the next day saying he’d have to eat humble pie and gave me a pathetic apology. I didn’t have the energy to say much. I just want my Mum well and out of that hospital.

On Monday 20 November I phoned the hospital and explained that Mum relied on me as her advocate and voice and that I needed to see her as I understood her and would know if there was anything she needed. They finally relented and I visited on Monday wearing full PPE gear (see photo). Unfortunately that was a one off exception and we’re not allowed to visit her again until the 7 days since testing positive has passed. I will be phoning on the day this post publishes to determine exactly when that will be and to see if we could at least talk to her on a phone.

When I visited her I could see that her Covid symptoms had improved – no more fevers or sneezing and head cold  but she still had a bit of a cough. She was also much better on her feet with the walker. Cognitively it was a different story. She was worse, but the longer I was there and talking to her the more she came back to how she was before all this. It goes to show how much she needs family and company and interactions with others. Too much time alone is not good for her which is why I’m very worried at the moment.

In addition to hospital visits and worrying about Mum’s health and welfare we are having to find an appropriate residential aged care facility for Mum and all the work associated with that.

That’s the short version of what has been happening around here lately. No time for details and my brain is too fried to write a properly thought out post so it’s best I keep this short.

I’m hopeful that Mum will soon be well enough to get out of that hospital and settled into a lovely new home. 

If you’re here to link up your post to #WWWhimsy – thank you! I will eventually respond to comments and read and comment on posts but I’m sure you’ll understand why this may take me awhile.  

Ciao for now,

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22 Comments

  • Reply Natalie November 22, 2023 at 5:13 am

    Hi Min, I’m sorry you and your family are going through a stressful time. I hope your Mum gets well soon and you’ll be able to find a lovely and caring new home for her. I’ve learned that it takes a village to care for an elder. Take care of yourself. Thinking of you.

    • Reply Min November 22, 2023 at 12:39 pm

      Thanks so much Natalie. It does take a village. I couldn’t do all of this on my complete own and feel for anyone that has to. I’m trying my best to take care of myself through this but it’s not easy. Thank you! xo

  • Reply Debbie Harris November 22, 2023 at 8:02 am

    Oh Min this is such a hard time for you and I feel for you all! I’m so glad your mum had you to push for her to be tested and looked after, what an awful situation you’ve been in. Take care and wishing your mum a quick recovery. On the issue of moving your mum to a home, i know how hard that can be and emotionally tough so hang in there is my only advice. Look after yourself as much as you can but I know the worrying is always there.
    I’ll link up later today.

    • Reply Min November 22, 2023 at 12:40 pm

      Thanks so much Deb. xo

  • Reply Christie Hawkes November 22, 2023 at 8:35 am

    I’m sorry to hear of your struggles recently, Min. Sending love and healing to you and your family. Please take as good care of yourself as you do your mother.

    • Reply Min November 22, 2023 at 12:40 pm

      Thank you Christie! xo

  • Reply Denyse J Whelan November 22, 2023 at 12:15 pm

    Oh Min, this is such a sad but also loving post. Each of us “needs” a Min in our lives when things get tough. You are doing an amazing job despite your own health struggles too. Not being able to see Mum is so hard. And as for rude doctors, that’s awful. I have been missing connecting in some ways and decided today to see if I could link up a post I did yesterday for Substack and I could. I am glad to be ‘back’ but as a linker not in your role.

    Sending every good wish and love,
    Denyse

    • Reply Min November 22, 2023 at 12:42 pm

      Thanks so much Denyse. I’m trying my best but the wheels are falling off a bit. I hope someone advocates for me when I’m old and vulnerable. Lovely to see you here & linking up! xo

      • Reply Denyse Whelan November 23, 2023 at 2:50 pm

        I understand this so well. My brother and I are doing our best for Dad but Dad is also somewhat ‘reluctant” to be helped…but he is getting more frail and it may be that he has to accept what is needed to keep him as safe where he wants to stay as possible.

        • Reply Min November 24, 2023 at 5:50 pm

          Thankfully it seems that our Mum has accepted that what we’ve been doing for the last 2+ years has run its course and is no longer safe and that it’s time to move on to the next step to keep her safe!

  • Reply Cathy November 22, 2023 at 12:55 pm

    You belong to a very loyal family Min, hopefully in time your Mother will understand how you all pulled together to make sure her needs were realised. As the others have said, please take time for yourself, sit down and smell the roses
    Love to you all
    Cathy xx

    • Reply Min November 22, 2023 at 2:45 pm

      Thanks very much for your kind words Cathy. I’m trying my best to look after me during this process. xo

  • Reply sherry November 22, 2023 at 4:09 pm

    sorry to hear about your mum’s health. With all my health travails this year, I have really discovered that your health is your own problem. Oops that sounds weird. I mean, no one else in the medical world cares really about the patient except yourself and your loved ones. You really have to push and push for information and help. it’s so damn annoying. And they don’t always give you the best advice or help. It has been a real journey! good luck to you and your family.

    • Reply Min November 23, 2023 at 7:23 am

      Hi Sherry, thank you. I totally agree with you. It’s VERY evident in the hospital in particular. To them she is just another elderly lady. To us she’s our cherished mother. We know who she was and is. We know her likes and dislikes. She’s just another patient to them. The same loving care she gets from us isn’t there. Hospitals are necessary but not nice!

  • Reply Jennifer Jones November 22, 2023 at 6:59 pm

    Oh Min, I’m sorry that you and your family have been going through a time of such stress and worry. I hope by the time you read this, that your Mum is past covid danger and on the mend. do take care of yourself.

    • Reply Min November 23, 2023 at 7:25 am

      Thanks Jennifer. Mum’s recovering from Covid quite well. Still a bit of a cough remaining and probably the fatigue too. There’s other things that worry me more. I will be pleased when the 7 days isolation is over and she can get more company and be closer to getting out of the hospital.

  • Reply Joanne November 22, 2023 at 8:18 pm

    No wonder your brain feels fried and you’ve been so stressed, that is a lot to deal with! Prayer for you and your family as you navigate through all this. Good job for speaking up, being an advocate, and not taking no for an answer!

    • Reply Min November 23, 2023 at 7:26 am

      Thanks Joanne – yes a lot to deal with. A lot of confronting stuff, emotional stuff. xo

  • Reply Patricia Doyle November 23, 2023 at 1:33 am

    I’m sending many positive vibes your way. Your blog was hard for me to read, as it mirrors what happened with my mom earlier this year. I pray your outcome is better. Stay strong, focus on what you can do, continue to advocate for your mom (and listen to your gut), and don’t be afraid to let go of less important things for a while … we will all be here when you have time to return.

    • Reply Min November 23, 2023 at 7:28 am

      Hi Pat, thank you for the positive vibes and best wishes. Sorry the post was confronting for you and that you’ve been through this too. I guess at some point we all have to face this in some shape or form but nothing can ever prepare you for it.

  • Reply Natasha Mairs November 25, 2023 at 8:23 am

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Hopefully she is doing better xxxx

    • Reply Min November 25, 2023 at 5:12 pm

      Thanks Natasha. She is doing better now *touch wood*! xo

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