Hey there! Life is pretty full on around here right now so not much spare time for writing well thought out posts or for editing a heap of photos so I thought I’d just do a quick update on life around here lately and at the end of this post, there’s an opportunity for you to help keep #WWWhimsy going while I’m going through the busiest of times, if you’d like to.
Before I start, I need to say that I share this stuff (within reason) NOT because I want sympathy or think I’m hard done by, but because this is real life that needs to be shared and not swept under the carpet. There’s no need for a brave face or a stiff upper lip. Those are beliefs of the past that were very damaging. I believe in sharing the reality of midlife and aging parents and what I learn in the process – about the aged care system, what challenges we face as we move through each phase, the emotional rollercoaster, the sentimentalities, the spiritual journey, and what we learn about ourselves. I’ll share more about my learnings when I have more time. It may just help someone else one day. Of course though, I keep personal details private.
Life is very multi faceted at the moment. In a nutshell:
- There’s visiting Mum. It needs to be regular to help her settle in and to be her advocate because she can not speak much. It’s mostly yes or no but sometimes we are thrilled when she manages another word. Sometimes she speaks a sentence but we cannot understand it. However, we understand the intention of what she is trying to say regardless because we know and love her dearly. We’ve needed to spend quite a bit of time liaising with nursing and care staff there, and the doctor, about her health and well being. There’s been lots of ups and downs. Despite the facility where she is being wonderful and her receiving very good care, generally she has deteriorated since being there. Whether that would’ve happened anyway or it’s accelerated because she is no longer in her own home or a bit of both, we can’t know for sure, but it’s something that troubles us deeply and interferes with quality sleep.
- There’s all the expenses. The time dealing with Government forms and chasing up things that have not yet been processed (which would help alleviate stress over expenses hopefully). I’ll elaborate more on this one day when I have more time, because there are things that people should know when going through this process and I’m in a position now to be able to advise!
- There’s the time spent over at our family home trying to clear it and get it ready for the stylist & sale. We have all had to decide what we each would like and what can go and where does it go – furniture, handbags, clothing, jewellery (we haven’t done this one yet), bric-a-brac, records, crystal glassware, the list goes on and on. We’ve realised that with our short timeframe, some items will have to remain in cupboards until after the house has sold. For instance, we are leaving the kitchen until later because currently we are spending nights there and need to be able to function. We’ve also packaged up (in K-mart crates – they are great) lots of sentimental family treasures like photographs and letters etc and taken them home to go through at a later date.
- We have to hand over to the Stylist on 21 February. We haven’t a lot of time left. We have some large pieces of furniture that need to go before then as she won’t be using them. There will be two rounds of furniture going – before the stylist and after the sale. Quite a few furniture pieces are staying for the styling which is great because it saves on expense. Some pieces us siblings will keep but the rest has to go. Marketplace has turned out to be full of scammers and apart from scammers we’ve had zero interest. We have realised that we may need to go the route of a clearance organisation. We actually had someone from Brisbane Estate Clearance come out to meet with us and we await their quote. It is very sobering to realise how little money we will get for items that seem very valuable to us. Beautiful pieces in tip top condition. What can you do? None of us can take these items.
- We have a lot of bric-a-brac. We have all been through it and taken what we’d like. The rest will have to go. We have a ‘bric-a-brac man’ (that’s what we call him) coming on Tuesday afternoon (the day before this post publishes). He is also interested in some small furniture items, so we’ll see how that goes!
- We have to organise a gardener and a cleaner before we hand over to the stylist because photography for marketing will happen soon after that. I made some calls and have left messages on the day of typing this (Monday).
- We also need to organise a building and pest inspection so that is available for prospective buyers. The agent has advised to hold off on this until the stylist is done and gardens done etc as photographs will go in the report which prospective buyers will be seeing.
- We also need some time at home to look after our own households and our selves – grocery shopping, laundry/washing, general household chores, keeping up with medical appointments and so on. And of course, there is a very real need for some time for ‘us’ to rest and to restore so that we can keep going till things settle down a bit more. What is making everything SO MUCH harder is the dreadful heat and humidity we have been having. To top it off, the family home is in the western suburbs which are so much hotter than where I live, and one of Mum’s split aircon systems isn’t working. You’ve gotta laugh or you’d cry!
So that’s a little taste of what’s on our plates right now (there’s more but I don’t want to rattle on too much in this post – trying to keep it short and sweet).
On a positive note, I think I’ve almost reached a point of acceptance. I’ve accepted that we have no choice but let the house go and I’m focussing more on gratitude for having had it as part of my life for such a long time (nearly 60 years) and I’m just rolling up my sleeves and working towards getting the job done. That doesn’t mean that I don’t still get pangs of pain in my heart now and then and when the time comes to hand over completely, never to enter the house again, I know there will be tears.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like ~ Lao Tzu
HOW YOU COULD HELP ME
So now to where you might be able to help me. If anyone would like to write a GUEST POST for me that would be very helpful and much appreciated!
This is only open to people that are known to me. Denyse Whelan has already offered (thank you Denyse) and so hers will be the first guest post published next Wednesday 14 February.
I think three or four guest posts would help get me through until the house is handed over and I hopefully will then have some more time available to me.
If you’re interested in helping out with a guest post let me know at email@example.com and a huge thank you to you in advance.
More info & what I’d need for your guest post
- I will write a short intro to your post and will be sure to include links to your blog and social media (can you please let me know those links).
- If you send your guest post to me in Microsoft Word, I will just then need to cut and paste it in and then do the intro and background meta tags, SEO etc.
- I’d need at least one image (landscape) for feature but feel free to send more, otherwise I’ll find an appropriate free stock image.
- Your post can be on any topic (but please not political or religious). Let’s try and keep it light & uplifting topics cos I know I need that right now and I’m sure others will benefit too!
If there’s no interest that’s perfectly ok. I know everyone has busy lives. I’ll just do short and sweet posts to keep #WWWhimsy going until I have more time available to me.
Thanks for your understanding everyone. I’m very keen to keep #WWWhimsy going through all of this. I am hoping that March will be a better month for me and that I will have more time then to do the things that I enjoy. Of course once the house sells I’ll have another busy period for a while but I’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Ciao for now,
P.S. At the time this post publishes, I will be over at the family home chipping away. My sister and I will have arrived there on Tuesday and stayed the night. I might take a while to reply to comments and read and comment on posts, but you know that I always do eventually.