Look for the good things!

Sometimes I think it is a good idea to revisit why you started doing something in the first place so you can review/evaluate if you’re still on track or at least happy with the direction in which you’re travelling.  Like …

Why did I start blogging? 

I started blogging in September 2012 as a way to share photographs I took as part of a 365 Grateful Project.  I had no idea how to blog, had never before used WordPress, and was soon to discover a whole new world (the blogosphere) and be catapulted into a massive learning experience! 

There’s a little more about what happened in 2012 on my ‘About‘ page if you’re interested, but I won’t get into all of that here.  Instead, I want to focus on WHY I started to blog and where I am now compared to then.

A friend had drawn my attention to an article in a weekend newspaper about Hailey Bartholomew (of 365 Grateful fame – see link above) and after reading that article, I felt inspired to do my own 365 Grateful Project.  I was going to take a photograph every day for 365 days of something I was grateful for.  Why would I do this?  Well, because I had been through a rough time, was reassessing my life, trying to reconnect to life, and endeavouring to work out who Min was and what she liked to do.  I thought maybe this little project might help.  It was also a good opportunity to use the DSLR camera that had been given to me as a birthday gift but had mostly sat idle.

I did that project, completing the 365 days of photographs of something I was grateful for.  It was quite a transformative process, in more ways than one.

How was the 365 Grateful Project transformative?

First of all – it was the reason I decided to start a blog, and five and a half years later here I am, still blogging!

When I first started the project it was quite a daunting task trying to find something in each of my days for which I was grateful.  I had to consciously remind myself to seek out something, find something.  It required a lot of thought.  Eventually though, I found myself automatically scanning my surroundings and feelings and being more present in what I was doing and where I was in the process.  It became a lot easier to find something in my day for which I was grateful and I was reconnecting to living as well.  I found that what I was most grateful for were very simple things, like:

• a cool breeze on a hot day
• that first cup of coffee of the day
• a kind comment from a friend
• the feeling of the sun on my face on a cold day
• seeing the sun rise
• new flowers opening up in the garden
• seeing a beautiful butterfly

Something else happened while I was doing this project.  I began to enjoy photography.  I decided to do a little 1/2 day local course to learn how to use my DSLR camera on manual (rather than auto).  I did that class, learnt a few things and my interest grew.  I then decided to enrol in an online course and proceeded to graduate with a Diploma of Professional Photography from The Photography Institute in October 2014.  Yay me!

Have things gone off track?

Photography:  I thought I wanted to be a photographer.  I got swept along in the excitement and dreams of all the other students to create a photography ‘business’.  This put pressure on me.  Eventually, I lost the joy in photography and I stopped taking photographs (at least ‘proper’ photographs with my ‘proper’ camera).  I have come to realise that I had stopped listening to myself and had yet again allowed myself to be influenced by others.  It’s not their fault.  It’s not my fault either.  It’s one of those things.  I liked their excitement.  I wanted to be part of it.  I liked being one of them.  I’m not like them though.  I love photography but I don’t want a huge career at this stage of my life and I don’t want to be bending over backwards to please others anymore. 

Photography for me is an escape into mindfulness.  When I was out (mostly in nature) taking photographs, my mind would empty as I focused on my subject and creative vision for the end result.  For that period of time, I was free of worries or stress.  When I put pressure on myself to make photography a business, the focus shifted on to how I could make money, what systems to set up, what should I charge, what kind of photography should I do, what equipment do I still need, and more.  There was no mindfulness escape in any of that.  In fact it played on my perfectionist and people pleasing traits and elevated my stress levels to a point that is not good for me.  Perhaps I will still make photography a business one day – but it will not be as a photographer for others but rather selling my own photography to those that might enjoy my creative results.

Blogging:  Well I’m no superstar of the blogging world.  I don’t really have a niche blog.  I’m not followed by hundreds of thousands.  I’m not making money from my blog (a dribble occasionally) … but does it all really matter?  No, it doesn’t.  I blog because I enjoy it and because I hope to make a difference in my own small way.  I don’t blog in order to win a popularity contest or to become a superstar or to make oodles of money.  That would add pressure that I don’t really need and take away my freedom to have a relaxed, flexible, but committed approach to my blog.  On another note, I have managed to keep the blog consistently active but last year was blogging only once per week.  This year, with my Skin Care Saturday posts, I am now blogging twice per week.  I think my blog changes and transitions just as I do.  I don’t think things are off track.  They’re reflective of me at this time.  One thing that HAS gone off track however, is my newsletter.  Insert ashamed face here!  I have not sent one out in a very long time. 

One thing I never realised would happen from blogging that has been a wonderful surprise, is the people I have met!  So many beautiful people!  Some are local to me here in Brisbane, others all around Australia, some overseas!  Some I have met in person, some I haven’t, but the thing about these people that is so special is that they ‘get’ me.  They like to express themselves as I do.  They like to write as I do.  Some of them even share a love of photography as I do.  We may blog on different topics but there is a common thread and it’s kind of special.

Life Balance and Happiness:  I lost my Dad in early December.  I am grieving.  I hurt.  I miss him a lot.  It’s affected me very much losing the most influential and important man in my life.  This has tipped my balance and happiness in a not so great direction but it is part of life that we all face one day and I will find my way.  On the exercise front – I’m doing Reformer Pilates regularly and love it.  I get up at 5:30am and do a 6:30am class three times per week.  I need to walk more often but as I’m not sleeping well (thanks peri-menopause) I haven’t managed to get up early (in addition to the already 3 times per week) to do that.  Getting up early to walk won’t be as necessary as the weather cools so I should have more success with walking during Autumn, Winter and Spring!

How do I get things back on track?

Photography:  I need to recapture the joy I previously enjoyed with photography.  I also need to get back into the practice of automatically finding something in each of my days to be grateful for.  For this reason, I am considering starting another 365 Grateful Project … or perhaps a variation of one.  Watch this space!

I have mentioned this before here on the blog but I have realised that I don’t like carrying around my big heavy Nikon camera and all the lenses.  It’s fine for a convenient shoot but not so much when travelling or out all day.  On my recent holiday, I took my camera and all my lenses with me but I never even unpacked them or used them.  Instead, I took shots with my phone’s camera.  It was light, compact, and convenient.  It doesn’t take the best shots but it’s convenient.  I need to review my camera system.  I am thinking of selling it all and starting all over again and Olympus is what I have in mind.

Blogging:  Well, it’s in my blood now.  I love it!  I closed down my first blog and launched my second blog ‘Write of the Middle‘ in October 2014.  Blogging is very time consuming but it’s a matter of finding the right balance.  I’ve tried blogging every day.  That was in the early days obviously LOL!  That was ridiculously difficult to keep up and so I didn’t.  I’ve tried four times a week and three times a week.  Both of those worked for me at different times.  I’ve done once a week (for most of last year) and twice a week (from the start of this year).  Twice a week works quite well for me at this point in time.  This week I’m publishing three posts and though I think it will mostly remain at twice/week, there may be the occasional three times a week.  We shall see how I go!   I have my skin care business, a house to run, exercise activities to do, life to live etc, and so getting the right life balance is very important to me.  You need to live in order to write about life, right?  I plan to rectify my lack of newsletter situation by putting great thought into a new and improved format and getting it back on track as soon as possible. 

Life Balance and Happiness:  I need to get back into that head space that I achieved after doing my 365 Grateful Project.  I need to get back into the practice of – LOOKING FOR THE GOOD THINGS – just one thing – every day!  It makes an enormous difference to my state of mind.  See what I wrote above under ‘Photography’ on this topic.  I also need to get back into some regular meditation.  Meditation is not as complicated as a lot of people might think.  It’s just spending a little bit of time each day sitting with awareness and presence.  It helps to quieten and relax an overly active and often anxious mind like mine can tend to be at times!  I love this article written about it by my friend Monica who is the Owner at Cultivate Calm Yoga at East Brisbane.  I need to incorporate more walking into my weeks and I’m sure with the cooler weather it will be possible to walk at any time of day and so it will happen more often.

Do I know who Min is and what she likes to do yet?

I know who she is far more than I did back in September 2012, but I continue to learn more about her very day.  Here’s a few things I know:

• She loves photography (but not as a photographer for others)
• She loves her blog (but she needs to get the right balance with all other areas of her life as well)
• She is uplifted by nature and needs to escape to nature regularly
• Due to her perimenopausal phase of life:
  • She can’t do as much in a day as she used to
  • She finds concentration much harder than it once was for her so works in smaller chunks of time
  • She forgets things a lot so needs to write lists, make notes, put reminders/alerts/alarms in her phone
  • As an add on to the point above, she gets lots of fabulous ideas but unless she writes them down immediately – they’re gone!
  • She needs peace and space and not to be overwhelmed with too much on her plate at once in order to avoid anxiety
• She’d like to get back into some:
  • Art (drawing, painting, mosaics)
  • Crochet
• She doesn’t know how she’ll find the time or energy but she needs to (and continues to procrastinate):
  • paint inside her house, and
  • organise a kitchen, two bathrooms and laundry make-over/renovation
• She wants to move to a quieter, less suburban, more surrounded in nature area
• She is an introvert (not shy) but can seem like an extrovert to others
• She likes lots of time alone but can sometimes overdo it and get very lonely
• She’s sensitive and emotional and can be overly empathetic
• …and there’s lots more!

Did blogging bring me what I was hoping for?

Yes, that and much more!

One thing is for sure – the key to feeling balanced in all aspects of my life is to make it part of my every day to LOOK FOR THE GOOD THINGS!!  It helps me keep my priorities and mindset in check.  Watch this space – I  may do another 365 Grateful Project or a variation of one.  Still thinking it over!  This might take a while! lol

Do you need to revisit why you started doing something in the first place?  Do you know who you are and what you like to do?  Do you look for the good things?

Ciao for now,

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