Queen of Catastrophizing

I’d like to thank God, my parents, my siblings, my family, my friends and my two adorable dogs for all their support….

What?  This crown is not one to be grateful for or proud of?  Buggar!  I’ve always wanted to do an acceptance speech!!

…oooOOOooo…

Hello!  I am Min, Queen of Catastrophizing.  Pleased to meet you!

Just a heads up … Catastrophizing is not a town, city or country unfortunately.  So what does it mean?

Catastrophizing: to view or present a situation as considerably worse than it actually is

Look, I don’t like to blow my own trumpet, but give me any situation and within minutes I can have a list of worse case scenarios ready and waiting for you!  Not only that but I can get visions of what your life will be like after that worse case scenario takes place.  It’s a gift!  If you need my services, I am here for you! 

To be completely honest, Catastrophizing is a symptom of anxiety.  Anxiety joined me as a constant companion about 3-4 years ago.  It travels everywhere with me nowadays.  Sheesh what a freeloader!  It’s ok – I’ve become quite good at telling it to shut up or even just ignoring it.  Sometimes I even forget it is there.  Other times it catches me unaware and it takes over.

For years I’ve blamed my anxiety on the chronic stress and incident that lead to me walking out of my previous workplace, but I do believe that much of it can be attributed to my stage of life – the menopausal years.  Oh yay!

I’ve not always been an anxious person, or even a worrier.  I was not a particularly anxious or worried child or teenager.  I also have no recollection of any excessive worrying or anxiety in my 20’s.  Nothing much phased me!  The first memories of any worry or anxiety are from after I became a parent and was responsible for other lives.  However, not the kind of anxiety I suffer from now.  

Anxiety for me these days can take the forms of excessive worry, overwhelm, catastrophizing, and sometimes even panic attacks.

Here’s some examples of me catastrophizing:

Catastrophizing Example 1
Daughter finishes work at 6:00pm.  It’s a 5-10 minute drive home.  At 6:45pm she is still not home. 

What goes on in my head:

• Someone has entered her workplace and attacked her.
• She’s been abducted or attacked as she’s walked from her workplace to her car. 
• She’s been in a car accident on the way home. 
• Police will be knocking on my door any minute.
• My mind races through every possible worse case scenario.  I have visions of the police breaking the news to me of each of these scenarios, how I am likely to react (not well!), and what my life will be like thereafter (over!).

Reality:

• She is catching up on some paperwork and/or has worked late and arrives home soon after my panic has set in.

Catastrophizing Example 2
Phone rings any time after 8:30pm or before 7:30am.

What goes on in my head:

• OMG No!  I’m not answering. Something bad has happened.  Someone else answer please!
• One of my parents has died.
• Something has happened to one of my siblings.
• Someone in my family has been in a bad accident.

Reality:

• It’s usually no big deal.  If AM – could be someone for hubby trying to catch him before he leaves for work.  If it’s PM – it can sometimes be one of my sisters.

Catastrophizing Example 3
I haven’t heard from a friend for a while

What goes on in my head:

• I must have said something stupid.  What did I say? 
• Did I do something?  Oh God what stupid thing did I do?
• Did I forget something?  A birthday?  An anniversary?
• My brain runs over and over every conversation with this person that I have had that I can remember, searching for the thing I said or did that has caused my friend to no longer want to be my friend because of course they no longer want to be my friend!!

Reality:

• Usually they’ve just been busy and haven’t had a chance to call and catch up with me. 

Catastrophizing Example 4
One of my kids is out at night.  I text to ask what time they’ll be home and/or if they’ll be home for dinner.  No response.  1 hour later – still no response.

What goes on in my head:

• OMG – Something has happened.  It’s been an hour! 
• They’ve been attacked!  They’re in trouble!  They are lying beaten on the side of a road!  They’ve been in an accident!
• The police will come to the door soon.  They’ll ask me to sit down. 
• I hear the words the police will say to me.  I see myself from above let out a guttural scream.  I can see the devastation.
• My life is over!

Reality:

• There was no coverage for their phone where they were; or
• Their phone had a flat battery.

Catastrophizing Example 5
It’s late at night.  One or more of my kids are out.  I hear a siren.  The piercing urgent sounds of a siren!

What goes on in my head:

• My heart starts to race.  I feel sick in my stomach.
• What has happened?  Is that an ambulance?  OMG what if it is my kid!  It could be!!
• Immediately send a text or FB msg to kid/s who is out to confirm if they are alive.
• If they reply – heart rate returns to normal.  Normal activity resumes.
• If they don’t reply.  Pop on the Queen of Catastrophizing crown and watch my anxiety get out of control!

I told you.  I have a gift.   I feel for my kids sometimes – when I’m in full blown catastrophizing/panic attack mode.  For anyone else who has suffered as a result of my catastrophizing talents, I do apologise!   It’s a gift that I’d be quite happy to pass on.  No really – it would be my pleasure.  I can’t have everything!  Anyone else want to be Queen of Catastrophizing? 

What do I do to help STOP my catastrophizing?

Catastrophizing for me is a sign of the onset of panic or even a panic attack.  It’s when my heart is beating way too fast and the anxiety is taking over.  It’s a warning that I need to STOP and try to calm the F down.  What strategy do I use?  Hmmm … well I haven’t quite mastered this, but I do try and this is what I do:

• Recognise that I’m catastrophizing
• STOP what I’m doing
• Sit somewhere comfortable
• Close my eyes
• Concentrate on my breathing.  Slow it down.  In through my nose.  Out through my mouth.
• Deep breaths.  In.  Out.
• Once feeling calmer,  I
  (1) try to think of the more rational explanation for the situation,
  (2) try to think of a sensible way that I might be able to quell my fears.
• Continue focussing on my breath till I feel calm enough to resume normal activity.

Do you catastrophize?  What strategies do you use to help you stop?  Let me know if you think you are worthy of the Queen of Catastrophizing crown and if you meet the criteria, I’ll gladly pass it on!

Ciao for now,

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT