This post is part of The Gorgeous 50’s series inspired by a book given to me by one of my sisters on my 50th birthday – ‘Grown-Up and Gorgeous in your 50’s’ by Pamela Robson. I will be sharing some of Pamela’s words and my own thoughts along the way. To see all posts published as part of this series, go here.
This is an introduction post to a string of posts within this series on the subject of ‘Living’ in your 50’s.
Pamela says:
LIVE IT UP
Every decade brings changes, but it’s in their 50s that many people start a whole new chapter of their lives. The kids have left home, financially we’re more resilient and perhaps this is the time we start to see that our years upon this earth are finite.
By contrast, some people have little choice and are starting out after a divorce or a job loss. Regeneration in your 50s can literally be life-changing, if you work out what you want and then plan.
My thoughts:
Personally, yes, the 50s have brought a whole new chapter to my life. I am no longer on the corporate treadmill – commuting, concrete jungle, workstation cubicle and all of that. I have endured some hardships to be where I am now but I believe things happen for a reason. I looked for the lessons which always come from adversity, and there were plenty. New lessons reveal themselves to me still. I’m learning every day. I have been very fortunate to be in a position where I have had time to explore who I am now and to pursue some interests (like photography and this blog) and to attempt to design a life more fitting to this mid-life version of myself.
I still have two out of three kids living at home and though the third lives out of home, she is still a working University student and therefore still somewhat dependent. Life on the home front has therefore not changed a lot. No more school runs but still lots of laundry and large meals to cook and all those other things, like worry, that only other parents would understand.
Financially, yes more resilient – now we no longer have school fees for example – but I’m not bringing in the corporate life salary anymore so we’re certainly not living budget free! It is true that this decade, more than any other decade that I have entered, is the one where the realisation that my time upon this earth is finite has hit me, and with full force. The desire to live what time I have left on this earth in a way of my choosing is very, very strong.
I know people in my age group who are struggling in various ways – working but hating their job; unemployed but trying to find a job; some starting all over again following a divorce; some with debilitating health issues; some crippled by grief. Life can present many challenges. A fresh start, a new chapter – it can be fabulous, it can be life changing, it can be frightening, it can be many things. It all depends on your circumstances, your mindset, and your attitude.
Generally, I think that increasingly we will find that people in this age group will still have kids at home because people are having babies much older these days. Young people are spending their 20’s travelling and/or establishing their careers, whereas when I was in my 20’s the priority was to save, save, save for a home and start your family. I had my twins at 28 and my daughter when I was nearly 31 so they are all adults now. However, I know some people my age with children still in primary school. So while the majority of us in our 50s might now have adult kids – either still at home or moved out – there is an increasing number of us still in the trenches with young kids. Of course this then has a knock-on effect – financial demands, time limitations, working until older, and so on. Maybe eventually there will be a shift back to having babies in your 20’s, but then again maybe not. What do you think? Of course not everyone in this age group has children – young or adult. Many couples choose to not have children, some couples can’t have children, and some women’s circumstances are that they don’t end up finding the right relationship to have children. Therefore, empty nest syndrome and a sense of freedom from parental responsibilities is not a factor for these people at all. I would think the focus would be more about when is the right time to retire and ensuring ongoing financial security but certainly the 50s can still be a time of starting a new chapter!
Have you found your 50’s to be a whole new chapter in your life? Has the fact that life on this earth is finite hit you in the face this decade too? Got an empty nest yet? Did you have your babies in your 20’s?
Ciao for now,
Link up here at WOTM or with another of us in the Lovin’ Life Linky team:
Leanne of Deep Fried Fruit
Lyndall of Seize the Day Project
Kathy of 50 Shades of Age
Deborah of Debbish
and Jo of And Anyways
It doesn’t matter where you link up as it will magically appear on all six blogs.
50 Comments
I loved turning 50 Min and yes my life did change for the better! I was working with a group of younger women who considered me their age so were always putting me into bootcamps and encouraged me to start running. I ran my first (and only) full marathon at 55 and now at 60 can say the last 10 years have been my best – physically and emotionally. I think once you reach midlife and the children and other responsibilities are not as great you can really concentrate on yourself, who you want to be and what you want from life. Have a great week and enjoying your posts.
You’ve done so well with your health and fitness Sue. Good on you! It is nice to have a bit more time to focus on ourselves isn’t it?! Hope you have a great week too, and thank you! 🙂
Hi Min, I’m loving this series so thanks for linking up and sharing with us at Midlife Share the Love Party. It is a wonderful phase of life if you have the right attitude! I’m sharing on all social media. 🙂
Thanks Sue! Hope you don’t mind me linking up older posts. I am only able to manage two new posts/week at the moment. It’s nice to give some of the previous posts another airing though! Thank you for sharing on SM! 🙂
Thank you for giving me much to look forward to in my next decade!
SSG xxx
Hope I’ve given you something to look forward to and haven’t completely freaked you out SSG! LOL xo
I just mentioned in a comment on Sue’s blog I sometimes struggle a little to relate to others my age as I’ve not got kids. I joked that I’m kinda like a single woman in her 30s in some ways. Just almost 50. My life is still pretty focussed on the mortgage, bills and, well… me.
But you’re right – this time can be one of regeneration and reinvention and perhaps that’s what I’ve been doing…. working out who I am and what I want?
I’m really enjoying these posts Min, though they are a bit of a mindf*ck – in a good way. 🙂 x
I understand completely what you’re saying Deb which is why I felt compelled to make sure all probable circumstances were covered in this post and not just the assumption that everyone is in the same situation. I do see similarities though with your re-evaluation of how you live your life these days with my own re-evaluation. I think that comes with this age regardless of our circumstances. We realise that time is getting on and we want to now stop going with the flow, pleasing others, doing what we think is expected etc …. but rather live in a way that suits us and allows us to feel more balanced and happy. Glad you’re enjoying the posts and yes that are a bit of a mindf*ck – they sort of force us to face some things rather head on! LOL xo
I do love this age—I think it feels so much better than when I was younger. I feel like with life experiences, I feel more sure about issues, and I don’t feel silly not knowing things!!
Yay for birthdays!!
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I agree Jodie! I still would like time to slow down just a bit though! lol xo
My 50s have been liberating I had my two kids at 24 and 27 and they both left home to go to uni in the city, so we’ve been empty nesters for YEARS! We’re not particularly wealthy, but we’ve made good, frugal choices along the way, so we are pretty established in that regard and debt free. I think if you live within your means and keep looking for ways to grow and flourish then this is the next stage in the journey. Looking at Sizzling Sue, I think the 60’s might be even better!
Empty nesters for years – wow! I think it might be quite some time before I’m an empty nester. There is a plus side to having offspring still living at home – resident dog sitters when we go away! 🙂 xo
I just read this again Min – and I felt quite chuffed that I could tick all the re-invention boxes for 50+ I’m so glad I’m not having to start again from scratch and that this is just another phase of life – and a pretty fabulous one at that!
Thanks for linking up with us at #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx
Leanne | http://www.crestingthehill.com.au
Hope you don’t mind reading these posts again Leanne. I’m only managing two posts/week lately so it’s the best option for me and gives these posts another airing which is good. Thanks for sharing on your SM! 🙂 x
Gorgeous post Min, and so thoughtful. I’ve loved my 50s and now looking forward to my 60s. I think the 50s can be so liberating if only we open our eyes to the possibilities rather than the downsides or our ‘getting older’ mindframe. These days we have so many opportunities and 50 isn’t old, like it used to be in our parents time.
Thanks Jo and I totally agree. It’s all about our attitude and mindset and we aren’t old at all these days which means we can do so much with our extra free time! 🙂
My baby is 19 & I’m 50 – hubby is nearly 56…we were a tad later. Life is fabulous right now, I feel like we’re where we should be. #TeamLovinLife
You’re a few years younger than me Jo! My baby is 22. Hubby is 58. Awesome that your life is fabulous right now! Yay! 🙂
Having had my children in my 30’s, I’m now in my early 50’s, but the kids are still teenagers and very much dependent. I don’t envisage having an empty nest for a few more years yet. I’m loving my 50’s as I feel healthier, fitter and more confident than I did 10 years ago. I’ve finally taken some time for myself and I’m looking after my health and wellbeing so much more than I had previously. Thanks for a lovely post Min 🙂 x #TeamLovinLife
I had my boys at 28 and my daughter when I was nearly 31 (that was quite old to have kids back then!) but they’re adults now. However, I think it will be a while before I have an empty nest too! Fantastic that you’re feeling so healthy and fit and more confident than ever. You look healthy and fit too! 🙂 xo
It is so great to hear other women saying how much better they feel now that they are in their 50s. This is exactly the way I feel. We are so different from our parents’ and grandparents’ generation, where women got into Osti dresses in their early 40s and all looked old before their time! I have that real feeling of ‘coming into my own’ in my 50s, professionally, and in other ways. ‘Retirement’ is not a word I like, and it’s a concept not even in my sights, because paid work is just so challenging and satifsying, and there’s still time for hobbies!
It is wonderful to hear such positive things about this age isn’t it? It’s true – finally time to prioritise ourselves and do things that we enjoy! 🙂
I had my first child at 27 which is not a “young” mum by any means … and yet like you I’m finding I have many contemporaries with small children, and they are particularly astonished when I tell them both of my kids are in their 20’s! I’m sure you get the same Min. I was just thinking after your comment on my 10000 days post – we don’t hear much about Mr Write of the Middle – is he blog shy?!
I never had a first child. I had first ‘kids’ – twins! I was 28 and considered quite old to be starting a family! Yes I am finding many people in my age group with much younger kids than me. Also come across some with much older kids than mine! You’re right about Mr WOTM – he is not only blog shy but ‘NET’ shy. Doesn’t want his pic on the net (not even FB) nor to be discussed etc, so I respect his wishes.
I turned 50 in June and became a farmer in August, something I 100% never saw myself doing. I was a city chic and now I’m a country hick. And I once had a life where I had an abundance of electricity but now we are living off the grid. Every day I have to remind myself that life is for living and adventure, it’s my new mantra and repeated at least a zillion times a day. Love your blog and I especially love your photo, you exude loads of warmth.
Wow what a brave and adventurous move – city chic to country hick! I’ll let you in on a little secret – I would dearly love to live more rurally. I don’t like suburbia. I don’t want to live remotely but I would like to live in a country environment surrounded in nature rather than houses and other people. One day maybe?? Thank you so much for your compliment. It means a lot to me! 🙂 x
Not quite in my 50s yet. It’s getting closer though! I loved my 40s so am hoping the 50s will be just as exciting. #teamlovinlife
Keep forgetting you’re not in the 50 club yet! 🙂
This is great Min, I agree with this as I am thoroughly enjoying this time of my life. You’ve summed it up really well.
Thank you Debbie! 🙂
I am loving my 40s. Can’t wait to see what the 50s have to bring!
Oh to be in my 40’s still! 😉
My fifties were just the BEST years 🙂 Enjoy yours too Min x
That’s good to hear Jo! I’m doing my best to enjoy my 50’s but could always do better! 🙂 xo
Hi Min,
When I retired three years ago at 55, I felt as if I was just then starting my life. Everything prior to that time was work – literally 18 hours a day for decades. So no empty nest – I don’t have kids and never married. Every year has been better than the last. If this keeps us, I’ll be so ecstatic at 60 that I won’t be able to stand myself 🙂
Woohoo – good for you Karen. It’s so lovely to hear you’re enjoying this time so much. Ecstatic at 60 sounds fabulous! 🙂
I’m a good way ahead of you Min but I agree the 50s are necessarily the time when you get your life back totally. Even in their 60s many people are still supporting their children, caring for grandchildren and possibly ageing parents as well. And as you say not everyone stops work in their 50s either, in fact there is of course a push here in Australia to work to an even older age. Having said that I did find that my 50s were the time that my life settled down and I felt more confident in who I was. Now at 64 I love my life and feel more and more at ease with who I am and what I do. Our generation has so much more opportunity to create our own life, that in itself is very energising I find.
,…. necessarily, I think I meant usually……
I knew what you meant! lol
About 10 years ahead of me Jan. I’ll be 54 at the end of this month. I haven’t got grandchildren yet but do have aging parents. Lost my Dad on December 2. It’s a hard thing to deal with. I left the corporate life much earlier than most people but it was the best decision for me. x
Great post! Every word rings true. The 50’s can be a tumultuous time for a lot of people; every experience is different. We had our kids young, so were empty nesters and for the first time in our lives our experiencing some breathing room financially. However, I worry about when the ax is going to fall health-wise. It seems so many people reach this age and then get the big “C” or other issues.
I hope the axe never does fall when it comes to your health Amy. All we can do is do the right things – be active, eat healthy, etc etc and hope for the best! 🙂
I had my children when I was very young so I was an empty nester in my early forties. My now husband had his later so when we got married he had an eleven yr old son. I have a granddaughter the same age as his son. Husband and I are the same exact age, we have the same birthday. lol I think life shows you how finite it is when you hit your sixties at least it has for me.
Victoria, that’s a very good example of how you can be the same age but have such completely different circumstances!
My experience is similar to yours and I look upon this time as a gift. I loved, “The desire to live what time I have left on this earth in a way of my choosing is very, very strong. ” The key for me is choosing- in this part of my life I want to choose!
Yes – it’s time for us to be able to choose! Most of our lives we’ve done what we’ve had to or what was expected and put aside our own dreams or needs. Now it is our time to choose how we spend the rest of our days! 🙂
Hi Min. Visiting from #MLSTL. Thanks for acknowledging that not every women in her 50’s has had children. When I retired early (at 53) and started trying to figure out the next part of my life, most retired 50-ish women I met were either filling their time with being a grandma or were working on a second career (or both). Neither direction was going to work for me. As a recovering workaholic, I too am learning every day… who I am and how to live (not work). I am doing more things than ever (still searching for that passion) and long-term friends say I am more positive than ever. So yeah, my 50’s have been pretty gorgeous!
I retired early too Pat (earlier than you) but I still dabble in things. I just no longer wanted that twice daily commute to the concrete jungle and to live that corporate life anymore. It was affecting my health. I now wonder how I ever found time to live that life. My days are so full! I’m so happy to hear your 50’s have been pretty gorgeous! 🙂
Ahh I love this post! As someone who will be 50 in a few months, and embracing the idea I might add, I find it inspiration. I’m starting my 50’s off single and happy. No time for boo hoo’s and drama. My 50’s are going to rock and with women like you enjoying it, I know it’s going to help me along my way!
Keep at it and thank you for sharing!
Oh thanks so much Bren! What a lovely comment to get. You will love your 50’s! Hope you celebrate well on your 50th! 🙂