I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. I haven’t felt like writing. I haven’t felt like taking photographs. I haven’t felt like editing photographs. I haven’t felt like blogging. I haven’t felt like reading blog posts. I haven’t felt like planning. I haven’t felt like participating in all the Facebook groups I’m in (several blogging groups, several photography groups, and one for owners of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels), and I haven’t felt like many more things that I usually do feel like! So what’s going on?
Well, I guess it’s a combination of many things. All members of the family have returned to work following the Christmas and New Year break and my sister, niece and nephew who have been visiting Brisbane since before Christmas have returned to Sydney. So, apart from the dogs for company, I am alone a lot again and at times it can feel pretty lonely. Speaking of dogs, I’ve become 24 hour carer for my elderly dog ‘Chelsea’ (you can see her here) who is due to turn 16 on 3 March (if she makes it to her birthday). Though she’s not in any pain or suffering, she appears to be declining quite rapidly. My daughter has been away overseas now for a month and I really miss her (one more month to go), and there have been several other issues I’ve had to either endure, work my way through, or sort out. I’ll spare you all the boring details except to say that the ‘issues’ include some health problems that are causing me much discomfort and havoc at the moment and sadly they prevent me from doing many of the things I would really like to be doing right now.
When I get in a funk (down, overwhelmed, stressed, lacking concentration and focus, unwell, or just out of sorts), it is time to recalibrate. Here’s what recalibrating means to me:
It’s kinda like when you’re using a GPS in the car and you decide to go a different way than what the GPS tells you or you make a wrong turn. The GPS voice will tell you it is ‘recalibrating’ (whilst probably swearing under it’s breath haha). The clever little cogs within that GPS will work out where you are right now, where you need to go, and find an alternate route. All will be ok.
So what does recalibrating look like for me? Well, let’s break it down into the three R’s!
No point beating myself up. No point in why me’s. I do my best to accept what is, let go of high expectations and negative self talk, and have faith that all will be ok given a little time and patience.
I take time to think things over. No planning – just thinking. What are my priorities? What really matters? What do I need to do to feel better? What can I do now to improve how I’m feeling? What do I need to stop doing and what do I need to do more of – either temporarily or permanently.
I go back to basics, find myself in this current place I am in, and then I work out what is needed to heal so I feel more balanced (in all respects) and well again and able to more forward as I’d like to.
I try to keep my eye on the recovery ball – with a strong focus on a healthy state of mind, body and spirit – healthy foods, drink more water, schedule in daily exercise (usually walking for me), and do things that make me feel good (reading, meet up with a friend etc). Walking at the local waterfront where I live is good for my head and my body and being out in nature does magic things to my mood and spirits. It also provides a good opportunity for thinking!
When it comes to health issues – I make the necessary medical appointments for help and guidance where needed, accept the necessary inconvenience, and go with the flow from there.
I aim to forgive myself and try not to dwell on my perceived failures and/or shortcomings. I put aside perfectionism and all the high expectations I have of myself and I try to be kind and gentle to myself, as I would to others in the same position as myself.
Once a sense of balance and wellness returns, then I’ll start to think a little deeper about how I can move forward. I will redefine how I want to spend my days, how I want to feel about myself, what I want to achieve. I’ll ask myself some questions. What do I want? How do I want my days to look? What do I want to achieve? How do I want to feel? How am I going to achieve what I want? I’ll answer these questions to myself honestly and realistically, so that what I plan is something that is truly achievable and sustainable for me.
I’ll start to set some loose goals and begin some planning. I’ll be sure to break my tasks down into small prioritised and achievable chunks so that I can feel the satisfaction of progress quite quickly. I learnt a long time ago that this works well for me and motivates me to keep going. I’ll start to set myself up so that I can feel how I want to feel and achieve what I want to achieve.
As part of my ‘regroup’ process, I have decided to take a step back from the blog and the blogosphere for a while. I’ll still post occasionally when the mood takes me but I am taking the pressure off myself with regards to blogging consistently and being a regular contributor in the blogosphere. I think this is a good thing for both you and me for now for a number of reasons. The main reason being that I don’t have the energy nor am I in the proper head space to be publishing quality positive blog posts out into the blogosphere as I’d like to. My blog is not currently how I want it to be, and I’m not surprised that it isn’t, because I am not operating at my optimum best. So, my priority right now is to look after myself and my health and return properly to the blog when I am able to function at my optimum best and shape it into the kind of blog I have a vision of it being in my mind’s eye. The plans and goals that I wrote about here still remain. There’s just going to be a bit of a delay before I can begin to put them into action.
What do you do when you’re in a funk? Do you think the three R’s would work for you?
Ciao for now,
Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT
Dear, dear Min, oh how I feel for you and understand where you are coming from. I am somewhat like this as a ‘default’ due to the many changes we have made in past 12 months. However, I am also not letting myself R for ruminate nearly as much as I used to. I found the ‘longing’ for what was did not help me at all. Talking to someone professionally on a few occasions has helped. Making my blog a daily activity based on what I know and need to share (professionally and personally) gives me purpose.
I am learning a lot out of this period of change so I take it as that.
However, this is just to say, I “get it” and want the best for you, whatever that may be!
see you around the blogosphere when you are R for ready again!
Denyse xx #teamIBOT
Thanks so much for your lovely heartfelt comment Denyse. You are so lovely. I’ve been to the doc today and have another couple of medical appts next week. Hoping to get to the bottom of some problems and find solutions so that I can get back to my self and move forward with my plans! xo
I totally think the three R’s would work for me, it’s a really great approach. I was in a ‘funk’ a few weeks ago, similar to yours and I honestly can’t remember what I did, I think I just tried to let it pass, I stopped doing the things I didn’t have energy for and went and did the things I knew would make me feel better and change my focus a bit. I hope you can escape your ‘funk’ soon and that your health improves too. x
Thanks Eva – I’m glad you got out of your funk! This funk is a little worse than my usual funks but hoping that after a few medical appts I will have some answers and solutions and be able to feel better real soon. 🙂 xo
Thank you for the post, I needed to read this today. I am in definite need of a recalibration! Feeling in a bit of a funk here, too. Hope you get out of yours soon 🙂
Oh Emma – sorry to hear you’re in a bit of a funk too. Hope you’re feeling yourself again soon. I’ll bounce back in no time! 😉 xo
Totally understand the need to step back and hopefully it will create the space in your life you need to reconvene and get back on track. All the best x
Thank you! Yep you worded that so beautifully. 🙂 xo
I’m sorry that things have been tough for you Min. It’s hard when life gets like that.
I totally understand that you’re taking some time away from the blog. If it’s a chore then it’s not worth it. xx
Thanks Jess! The blog’s not so much a chore – I love blogging! Rather – my various issues are making it impossible for me to function in a way that I need to be able to in order to pop out blog posts worthy of being part of the blogosphere – so best I back away until I’m functioning better again! Hope that makes sense! 😉 xo
Ahh Min, hugs to you. Good on you for acknowledging things aren’t feeling quite right with you and for taking some much deserved time out. I have times when I feel the exact same way. I feel like I just don’t have anything valuable to offer. When that happens, I take a step away until I feel better. It usually happens when I have too much going on in my life. As a personal blogger, I find writing consumes a lot of energy. Some posts I have to dig deep for and they make me feel quite vulnerable. One minute I’m okay with it, the next I’m like please just let me go hide. We’re interesting creatures, aren’t we? Anyway, take care and see you online soon.
Thanks so much Renee – yep you so get it. We are indeed very interesting creatures but gee we have gorgeous hearts don’t we? xo
I think blogging is much more enjoyable when you do it according to inspiration, not according to some sort of blogging schedule. I’m not posting as much but by sharing old content on FB on the days I don’t post, I’m finding my stats haven’t suffered at all 🙂
I totally agree Janet. I worked that out quite a while ago after lots of trial and error lol. I’ve only been posting twice a week lately. It’s not any schedule that is the problem, it’s my health issues making me feel miserable and not in the right mindset to deliver the kind of blog I would like to. That’s why I’m stepping back for a bit – to get myself well and then return when I’m more my usual self 🙂
I wish you all of the best during your time out. I got into a bit of a funk last year (I’m still climbing out) and I found that giving myself permission to just put things aside helped a lot. It took the pressure and the guilt away.
Thank you Tegan! I’m glad you’re feeling better. Yes taking the pressure and guilt away helps. It’s all about priorities 🙂
A break sounds like what you need. I mean, preferably one with bartenders, room service and all that jazz too, but even so, home is nice!
I like your version of a break better than my reality version. Take me there now! 😉 xo
I hope you are feeling better real soon Min. I totally understand and have been feeling much the same way without the burden of not being well. Rest up lovely xxx
Thanks so much Nicole. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling in a funk too. The not being well thing really gets me down. Onwards and upwards! Take care of yourself! xoxo
Big hugs min. You perfectly describedmy journey back after my health crashed at the end of November. It took 6-7 weeks to recover but I went through all 3 Rs. I am sure you will get there once your health is sorted. It is the fastest way to a funk in my opinion. Lots of love.
Thank you for the hugs Deb. I love hugs! Yes being unwell sure is the fastest way to a funk. Glad to hear that you can relate to the 3 R’s and that going through each of them helped you and even happier knowing you’re out of your funk and doing so well. Lots of love back at you! xoxo
I’m sorry to be so late in commenting Min and to hear that you are feeling in a funk. Recalibrating sounds like a a great plan. I’m sorry I haven’t emailed you, so I’ll touch base with you to talk about what I think might help (based on what you’ve posted here and your previous post about feeling like you are a photographer with a blog). Hang in there. X
Oh Kathy – no need to apologise for the timing of your comment. I appreciate all comments, no matter when the come. I look forward to your email – can’t wait to hear what your thoughts are. You are such a darling to think of me – thank you. xoxo